If you where to walk past me in the street, you would never know, I would just be another person walking along with their kids, but inside me is so much pain, this type of pain hurts so deep, it wounds your soul.

I am a Mother of an angel, a child I can no longer embrace, a child I can no longer see, only in photo's can a stare into his deep blue eyes, and remember all the things we used to do, all the things we used to say.

This is the worst of all pains, we always imagine that it will be our child who buries us, but those of us who have lost a child, know only too well that this is not so, we have stood by the open grave and had to say goodbye to our precious child as we watched helplessly as they are laid to rest, nothing we can do or say can ever bring them back, it is beyond our control.

But we need to be able to talk about our child, just because they are no longer here, does not mean we don't need to hear someone speak their name, out of sight does not mean out of mind, and it is one thing we will NEVER get over.

I have met so many wonderful people who are in my situation, all of them have come across those who thinks it was time we got on with things, that we are wallowing in self pity, funny how the people that say these things to us have never lost a child, how would they know.

When you lose a child, whatever their age,  you lose a part of your identity, people find it hard to accept that you will never be the happy care free person you where before, yes, you put on a mask so to speak, but this is in order to make other people feel more comfortable.

Our child was here, our child did live, not to acknowledge them is not to acknowledge that they existed.
They are still a huge part of our lives and they always will be.

So, please, speak our child's name,  let us know that you remember them too.


Lian A. Gell